Mirmade sex

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Which is how I learned, without really intending it, that Pattinson has a new film called The Lighthouseand that it involves human-on-mermaid sex. What should I know about mermaid reproductive anatomy to make it as enjoyable as possible for both of us? A few years ago, HelloGiggles admirably asked a marine biologist to come up with a mer-sex hypothesis grounded in models of fish reproduction.

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Mermaids are one of our shared cultural obsessions. While we already know mermaids seem quite capable of orgasmic pleasure while in their mermaid state…. Romantic, right?

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But then there is a mermaid. Dafoe and Pattinson play Thomas Wake and Ephraim Winslow, two men who are sent on a four-week shift to a lighthouse during especially treacherous weather. Pattinson has never been crazier and it is a delight to watch.

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In some respects, Jake realized, the shipwreck had very nearly been fortuitous. Any marine biologist, for example, would be downright envious of his circumstances. The Dreamer was his pride and joy, and he practically lived on it.

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Set in New England during the late s, The Lighthouse sees Pattinson and Willem Defoe star as two keepers aka wickies who become stranded on the remote island before losing all sense of time — and their minds in the process. Within a few minutes, Thomas is letting off farts faster than we can down shots and turn it into a drinking game. Although, Thomas definitely has more uncouthness about him.

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Ok, so we have all wondered it, but I decided to ask the question to a couple of friends of mine as well as Lord Google. How exactly do mermaids have sex? What are the logistics of it?

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Robert Eggers's black and white film about two lighthouse keepers in the late 19th century terrorizes the senses for nearly two hours. And while The Lighthouse has been lauded by critics across the board and currently named Esquire's best movie of the yearit's also absolutely bananas. This is in no small part due to Robert Pattinson's violent treatment of his penis.

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It's hard to pin down what exactly The Lighthouse is. The movie, about two men stuck caring for a lighthouse, feels more extreme than your standard drama, but the Robert Eggers-directed film's lack of jump scares and gore might make some hesitant to call it straight up "horror. And specifically, about Robert Pattinson being weirdly, grotesquely, maddeningly horny for mermaid vaginas.

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It's best to refer to any half-human, half-fish being as a "merperson" until you know how they self-identify. Merpeople are very gender-fluid, but usually they fall into the categories of mermaids, mermen and male mermaids. Merpeople have genitalia similar to ours except on their front, with their anuses right above their private parts. Mermaids have vaginas, mermen have penises in sheaths, kind of like dolphins, and male mermaids have both penises and vaginas.

Comments

    3 thoughts on “Mirmade sex

  • Aaden 29 days ago

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  • Carmelo 21 days ago

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  • Nicolas 9 days ago

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