Dealing with being gay

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On a balmy evening in August, I went to what passes for a gay bar in Iowa City with some friends. It had the feeling of a space that had been improvised, made out of a warehouse or something like it. They go to bars.

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I have always looked at myself negatively, harshly and unfavourably. For a long time I put this down to my looks, not handsome enough, not fit enough, causing me to be so self-aware which in turn caused deep rooted anxiety that brought me to my knees. I knew deep down this had nothing to do with my looks, this went far deeper inside of me.

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Although the pervasiveness of heterosexism in the lives of gay and bisexual youth is well established, little is known about the strategies these youth use to cope with stigma and discrimination based on their sexual minority status. In this qualitative study, the authors present findings and implications for clinical practice based on interviews with 43 gay and bisexual young men. The narratives from the current study suggest that the emotion regulation paradigm is well suited to understanding the functions of strategies for coping with heterosexism and similar types of stigma.

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Loneliness doesn't discriminate. Few people are lucky enough to make it through life without feeling isolated at some point. Many young LGBTQ people hide their authentic selves from friends, family, and classmates before they come out, which is often an incredibly isolating experience.

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Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. All those uncomfortable things that you talk about there I have felt my own version of at some time. At other times I have seen possibilities.

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And while, today, I do feel all of those things for both of my gay sons, I still feel deep shame about how I acted toward them when they first came out. In those dreams, I had a tow-headed, blue-eyed, loving grandson just like Luke. I had it all planned out.

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Sexual orientation and gender identity, like many things in life, develop over time. You can also speak to someone directly by calling The Trevor Project Helpline at For everyone, gay or straight, accepting and understanding sexuality is a learning experience.

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Racism, body shaming, fetishization and sexualization — these issues plague the gay community worldwide. At Michigan State, the gay community is not immune to these problems. Gay men of color traverse the dating pool with added complications.

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I f Ethan Stables, the year-old man convicted on Monday of planning to kill attendees of a local gay pride event in Cumbriawas really bisexual as he claimed in court, why would he want to hurt other LGBT people? But self-loathing can turn deadly. His ex-wife said she believed he was gay.

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That rate is 1. This skill, while adaptive, comes at a cost because it was developed in response to being subjected to high levels of persistent prejudice and discrimination. It affects how you think and feel about yourself. In response to an outside world full of negative messages about what it means to be attracted to people of the same sex or gender nonconforming, many people come to view themselves as deeply flawed, unlovable, unworthy, and hopeless.


    4 thoughts on “Dealing with being gay

  • Luke 18 days ago

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  • Shawn 8 days ago

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